Where to begin?
I woke up this morning (thank God) to try and get a fresh start on my 31st year (although I guess technically I’m starting my 32nd year, but I digress). The headlines are dominated by news of mass shooting after mass shooting, the weather is a toasty 22 degrees, and there’s no indication that things will change, which makes it pretty hard to feel celebratory. The numbingly endless flow of tragedy. The increasingly audacious outrages. People suffering, dying, and protesting the world over while I sit here, ruminating on growing older.
When I was younger imagining all the things I’d be when I was 31, this wasn’t what I had in mind. I thought maybe I’d be a lawyer or a teacher, or even a firefighter, but I definitely didn’t predict this. I feel tired and sometimes even hopeless, and to be honest I’m not sure I’m having a good time anymore. I’m still trying to be better every day, but I’m not sure how much progress I’m making. I thought it was enough to try and be a good person, so I’ve done my best to be that. Whether or not I’ve succeeded so far is beyond me, but 31 years is plenty of time to realize that being a good person isn’t nearly enough. So I have to find new ways to keep growing and learning.
With that in mind, here are 5 things I’d like to try and do in my 31st (32nd?) year:
Acquire a job that provides ample health coverage and doesn’t make me miserable (any leads appreciated, as always)
Find a therapist and get to work addressing the backlog of issues
Learn to cook 5 new dishes (favorite recipes always welcome)
Explore the local creative scene and make space to share more of my writing
Camp in 10 new places (always taking recommendations for good camping)
Forgive the dramatics and sorry to be a downer today, I guess I spent all my optimism in the first 30 years of my life. Perhaps I’ll try again tomorrow.
Side Items
Half Moon Bay Shooting: Seven people were shot and killed at two separate scenes in Half Moon Bay, CA yesterday afternoon. 67-year-old local resident Zhao Chunli was taken into custody, but not before rapidly extinguishing seven lives. Once again, a man demonstrated how quickly and irreversibly gun possession in this country can alter entire communities. We’re meant to pretend this is just a part of living in this country, but it’s exhausting. Politicians will line up in front of cameras to reflect and despair on how a change is needed, but we all know no change is coming
Des Moines School Shooting: Yet another American classic unfolded as a school shooting took place, this time in Des Moines, IA resulting in two student deaths and an injured teacher. The shooting took place at an educational mentorship program in downtown Des Moines that works with at-risk youth. The founder of the program, Will Holmes, was the instructor injured in the shooting and was in serious condition before being taken to the hospital where he continues to recover
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhsrBz9Cceg I've been making and enjoying this (am using the premade blocks so no flour or spice addition - and leaving out the raisins). Good with chicken and tofu and warm in the winter.