Tuesday, February 14: Candy Hearts Taste Bad
Also not everyone likes roses, and some people are allergic to chocolate
Happy Valentines Day and an especially happy day for any Hallmark enthusiasts! Here’s your annual reminder that the greeting card industry wants you to feel obligated to celebrate or demonstrate your love through any capitalist means available. If your loved one likes flowers and chocolate, you’re in luck!
Otherwise, feel free to let your loved ones know how much you care and demonstrate that love through whatever avenues make them feel loved. Roses are red and violets may be blue, but loved ones usually just want to spend time with you. Call your siblings, chat with your parents, reach out to an old buddy you haven’t talked to in awhile. Love can take a million different shapes, and not all of them involve Ferrero Rocher.
If you’re feeling down this year and missing out on the festivities, remember that there are 8 billion humans out there, chances are there’s someone out there for you. Rest easy knowing that it’s a made-up holiday aimed at selling greeting cards.
Side Items
MSU Shooting: Another mass shooting, this time on a college campus as a gunman killed three people and wounded five more on Michigan State University’s campus. The suspect, a 43-year-old who had no affiliation with the university, later died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound after a manhunt
Army Recruitment Obstacles: Apparently kids these days just don’t want to get shipped off to a foreign country to die for no reason. The military services are having trouble recruiting soldiers, and the explanation makes perfect sense. Call them “woke”, but I guess young people don’t want to die or get injured, deal with the stress of life in the military, and put their lives on hold
Eight Days Later: Rescue groups are still searching the rubble in Turkey and Syria for survivors after the disastrous earthquakes last week. The death toll has climbed above 37,000 people, and continues to climb as humanitarian aid efforts continue to struggle to reach the victims of the quake