Thursday, November 10: Election Day Leftovers
Leftovers are rarely as tasty as they were the day before
More Winners
Dr. Oz: Because if you really think about it, losing an election is actually just winning your old life back, and I’m certain the good doctor would prefer it that way. Now instead of getting roasted and exposed on a daily basis at work, he can go back to doing whatever he was doing before, probably selling knockoff gas station Viagra pills or something
Runoffs: The Georgia Senate race pitting a reverend against a borderline unconscious former football player will go to a December runoff. The voters of Georgia couldn’t decide who better represented them, the man preaching and praising God, or the guy who used to run fast while carrying the ball. On the bright side, that means another few weeks making fun of Walker. The downside is that he might get the last laugh and become an actual senator
Recreational Activities: Drugs were on the ballot in a number of states, and if there’s one takeaway from this election cycle it’s that people really seem to enjoy drugs. But evidently not the people of North and South Dakota or Arkansas
Even More Losers
Lauren Boebert(?): The third district of Colorado seems like a real hoot. With more than 95% of the district’s votes counted, Lauren Boebert is down ~60 votes to a democrat. Boebert is probably best known for being both comically out of her depth at work and completely unhinged in her personal beliefs. If somehow the people of Colorado decide she is no longer fit to represent them, better late than never I guess
North Carolina: In 2016 I was disappointed to see the state vote for Trump. Ever since then I’ve told myself I wouldn’t be let down again, and yet every election brings new bozos to the legislature. First it was Madison Cawthorne, the sleazy alt-right perv that became a member of Congress. Now the Old North State will have an election-denying senator in Ted Budd. Budd whose credentials seem to be that he’s a gun store owner and the son of a successful businessman, voted against certifying the 2020 election and has previously co-sponsored a national ban on abortion. Looking forward to several years of hearing about this clown
Side Items
Trouble in Crypto- Land: Something truly terrible has happened in the cryptocurrency space. Sadly, I’ve grown weary of reading about how overly confident internet people were duped into another scam. Anyways, perhaps this spells the end for crypto, but my bet is there’ll be another similar scam soon, because some people really believe in what crypto seems to offer I guess
Dry-Ass Jordan: Access to clean water is running low in much of the world, and Jordan (the country) provides a good example of how factors like population growth, diminished water supplies and climate change have all contributed to the problem. Meanwhile, damaged and inefficient infrastructure and the challenges of Jordan’s geography and topography have only made matters worse
World Cup Preview
Costa Rica: Los Ticos are no strangers to a challenge. They’ll be looking to replicate their 2014 success which saw them advance out of a group featuring Italy, England, and Uruguay. This year’s challenge will be equally tough, as they’ll face Spain, Germany, and Japan to determine their fate. The team is anchored by Keylor Navas in goal, one of the only goalkeepers on the planet that could inspire this team to achieve more than expected. I’m not saying they’ll shock the world, I’m just saying Germany and Spain have both choked on the biggest stage in the past, if they stumble this time, Costa Rica might not be forgiving
Canada: One of the ultimate underdogs this World Cup, and a team that’s easy to support, Canada qualified for the 2022 World Cup for only the second time in their history, ending a 36-year drought. If that’s not enough to make you a fan, consider that they’ll be facing Belgium, Morocco, and Croatia. That’s one finalist from the last World Cup, one semi-finalist, and Morocco (sorry Morocco). My heart wants me to take a chance on the Canadians, but their star player, the sensational Alphonso Davies, was ruled out due to injury a few weeks ago, so the challenge became even tougher
South Korea: Also known as the Taegeuk Warriors, this is another team whose chances seemed nonexistent when their star player was injured. Son Heung-Min, one of the most lovable characters in the Premier League, recently underwent surgery to repair a facial fracture (yikes), but announced that he will still plan to feature at the tournament. Now the team faces the challenge of arguably one of the toughest groups, including Portugal, Ghana, and Uruguay. My prediction; they’ll surprise Ghana and maybe earn a draw with another team, somehow sneaking their way through to the knockout stages, well played South Korea!