Both the American army and air force say they will not meet their recruiting goals this year, and the navy also expects to fall short. It may come as a shock, but people are no longer lining up to enlist and fight in wars that benefit us in no discernible way. What will the armed forces do to make up for the scarcity of willing soldiers?
Well, last October the army reestablished a program for legal permanent residents to apply for accelerated naturalization once they get to basic training. Recruiters have been reaching out on social media, using short videos in various languages to target the top 10 countries that recruits came from last year. It may seem a bit desperate and definitely comes across as exploitative, but that’s the army my friends.
Pulling more from the legal immigrant population won’t provide large numbers, but at this point, any small boost will help. The marine corps is the only service on pace to meet its goal, as I’m sure there’s never any shortage of angry young white men ready to ship off and follow whatever orders they’re given.
Under this new program, recruits are enrolled in the citizenship system and when they start basic training, an expedited process begins, including all required paperwork and testing. By the time these recruits finish their seven weeks of training, the process is complete and they are sworn in as American citizens. Meanwhile, my family moved to this country in 1993 and we weren’t sworn in as citizens until 16 years later in 2009 (quick math). If only I’d thought to sacrifice my life for the sake of Uncle Sam, maybe that process could’ve been sped up a bit.
Side Items
Harvard Body Snatchers: The manager of Harvard Medical School's morgue has been charged with buying and selling stolen human remains along with three others. Cedric Lodge allegedly took "heads, brains, skin and bones" from cadavers donated to Harvard’s medical school and sold them online. According to the indictment, he and his wife, Denise, sold body parts to buyers in Pennsylvania and Massachusetts in a scheme that allegedly ran from 2018 to 2021. I guess they have village idiots in every village, including the Ivy League
Starbucks Reverse Racism: Jurors in federal court awarded $25.6 million to a former Starbucks regional manager who claimed that she and other white employees were unfairly punished after the high-profile arrests of two Black men at a Philadelphia shop in 2018. Shannon Phillips won $600,000 in compensatory damages and $25 million in punitive damages earlier this week after a New Jersey jury found that race was a determinative factor in Phillips’ firing, a clear violation of federal and state anti-discrimination laws. Meanwhile, the two Black men who were initially profiled reached a deal with the city of Philadelphia for a symbolic $1 each and a promise from officials to set up a $200,000 program for young entrepreneurs. One of these seems symbolic, the other seems excessive and misdirected