Thursday, December 8: Political Telenovelas
Sometimes historic firsts come as a result of attempted coups
Peru has a female president for the first time in the nation’s history! And all it took was the ex-president Pedro Castillo being impeached - hours after he tried to dissolve the nation’s parliament. Castillo said he was replacing Congress with an "exceptional emergency government", but lawmakers ignored him and, in an emergency meeting, impeached him. He was then detained and accused of rebellion. Imagine the speedy downfall, thinking you’re gonna take the reins of your country only to be voted out and arrested expeditiously.
Dina Boluarte - previously the Peruvian vice president - was sworn in after a dramatic day in Lima. The drama of South American politics rivals the drama that went down in Germany yesterday (see below). Ex-President Castillo gave an address yesterday on national television in which he declared a state of emergency. He announced that he would dissolve the opposition-controlled Congress, a shocking move that was met with dismay both in Peru - as several ministers resigned in protest - and abroad.
Boluarte is now in the unenviable position of having to fix problems that a man caused, a common challenge I’m sure women face on a daily basis. She’ll be tasked with healing a divided nation where the presidency has been locked in battle with Congress for more than a year. Godspeed Dina.
Side Items
They Really Said “ReichsBurger”: Twenty-five people were arrested in raids across Germany on suspicion of plotting to overthrow the government. A group of far-right and ex-military figures are believed to have prepared for a "Day X" to storm the Reichstag parliament building and seize power. Clearly these men have been watching too much Fox News. The master plan was to storm the German Capitol, arrest lawmakers and execute the chancellor. A prince descended from German nobility would take over as the new head of state, and a former far-right member of parliament would be put in charge of a national purge. A guy named Heinrich XIII, from an old German aristocratic family, is alleged to have been central to their plans. I believe the correct German term is “dumbass-Burger”
Hertz Scammery: The car rental company falsely accused hundreds of innocent customers of stealing its vehicles — accusations that, for some customers, resulted in arrests, felony charges and jail time. Now, the company gets to pay $168 million to settle those claims, the shady bastards
Delta Pilots Demonstrate Worker Power: Pilots with Delta Airlines won a 34% raise after voting 99% to authorize a strike. They're part of a growing uprising of pilots against management at all of America's largest airlines. Much like rail workers, pilots have gone years without a raise & many say they’ve hit their breaking point. Further evidence that workers won’t wait around forever to get what they deserve
World Cup Quarterfinals Preview/Predictions
Croatia vs. Brazil: It’s the 2018 World Cup finalists against the hottest team of the tournament. It’s Modric and the boys vs. Neymar and the Pigeon. It’s a battle of noisy checkered jerseys and noisy celebratory dances. All things considered, it shouldn’t really be a close game Prediction: Croatia 0, Brazil 4
Netherlands vs. Argentina: In a battle of football blue bloods, Messi will have to climb the Oranje mountain if he hopes to win the only trophy that’s thus far eluded his grasp. But don’t expect Virgil Van Dijk and the Dutch boys to just hand him a victory Prediction: Netherlands 1, Argentina 3
Morocco vs. Portugal: If it’s not clear already, I’m rocking with the Atlas Lions til the bitter end. Sadly, this match just might prove to be the end of their historic run, particularly if Portugal stay wise and bench Ronaldo again, instead relying on the wealth of young talent. I can’t bet against my North African brethren, not after the hope they’ve managed to instill in millions of people the world over Prediction: Morocco 2, Portugal 1 Dima Maghreb
England vs. France (The Battle of Egyptian Colonizers): In an ideal world, both teams would lose and be forced to return all the stolen artifacts from the dozens of nations they’ve collectively looted. Instead it’ll be a battle of Mbappe vs. Bellingham as the young stars duke it out for bragging rights and a chance at glory. My money is on England to upset the defending champs, but obviously I’d relish the opportunity to laugh in the faces of gullible Brits who actually believed ‘it’s coming home’ Prediction: England 3, France 2