Somebody call the circus, it looks like they’re missing a clown.
Trump is losing his mind on his Truth Social timeline, bellowing into the ether that he’s expecting to be arrested this week. Usually when the former president believes he’s going to be detained, it’s a sign that it’ll probably be a week to remember. A New York grand jury continues to investigate hush money payments Trump made to women who alleged sexual encounters with the spray-tanned sleazeball.
Although prosecutors have yet to make any official announcements, Trump declared in a post on his little social media platform that he expects to be taken into custody on Tuesday. If his predictions are correct, it will almost certainly set off a cartoonishly hilarious/destructive flurry of hillbilly civil disobedience, most likely taking the form of lifted trucks blocking local McDonald’s drive thru lanes along with a tidal wave of front-facing camera videos filmed in cars by men wearing Oakleys. Things are going off the rails at a rapid pace, and this time I’m not talking about Norfolk Southern’s inability to keep trains on their tracks.
The leading republican 2024 presidential candidate, also a former president, directed his anger in all capital letters at the Biden administration and raised the prospect of civil unrest: “IT’S TIME!!!” he wrote. “WE JUST CAN’T ALLOW THIS ANYMORE. THEY’RE KILLING OUR NATION AS WE SIT BACK & WATCH. WE MUST SAVE AMERICA!PROTEST, PROTEST, PROTEST!!!”
Strap in folks, we might have a show on our hands.
Side Items
No Such Thing: Minnesota governor Tim Walz signed a universal school meals bill on Friday, providing free breakfast and lunch to all K-12 students in the state, regardless of their parents' income. Feeding hungry children really shouldn’t be a controversial policy, but of course our modern society has convinced people that those children need to earn every meal. No such thing as a free lunch, unless you’re a school-aged child in the state of Minnesota
Sports Gambling is Bad?: Can we really be surprised that legalizing sports betting has had negative consequences? I thought we all knew where this was going
New Gallup Poll Just Dropped: A recent poll indicates that democrats sympathize more with Palestinians than with Israelis. Data gathered by Gallup suggests that sympathies in the Middle East currently stand around 49% for Palestine versus 38% for apartheid Israel. None of this truly matters considering democrats change sympathies at the same rate I change my underwear, so nearly every day