Sunday, December 18: Homeland Dispatch
Egypt is still crowded and corrupt, but every dictatorship has its benefits
In the four years since my last visit, several things have become evident in Cairo. The smog that envelopes you upon arrival hasn’t gone anywhere, and the same can be said of the crowded streets. The number of openly corrupt traffic checkpoints on the roads has noticeably increased, and the food is just as tasty as I remember. It’s the best of times and the worst of times, but we’re doing our best to enjoy it while we’re here.
Three interesting things I’ve noticed:
Highway expansion projects come at a cost. In a city plagued by traffic and ruled by an autocrat, all it takes to expand the highways is demolishing the houses of thousands of poor families. The roads are noticeably wider, and alongside them are the remains of housing projects that the government deemed slums. Now you can see the half-destroyed former living quarters of families all along many of the major roadways
Egyptians are recycling cooking oil to make biofuel now! The first street vendor I encountered upon arrival had a donkey-drawn cart and was shouting something undecipherable to my newly-arrived ears about cooking oil for 15 EGP (~61 cents). Participants in this initiative can arrange for their used oil to be collected and exchanged for new bottles, thus cutting down on waste and providing an avenue for recycling
There were once whales in Egypt’s desert! Wadi Al-Hitan or Whale Valley is a UNESCO Heritage site here in Egypt that I was previously completely unaware of. Located a few hours southwest of Cairo, the valley has fossil remains of the earliest, and now extinct, suborder of whales, Archaeoceti. Their fossils represent one of the major stories of evolution: the emergence of the whale as an ocean-going mammal from a previous life as a land-based animal. Truly remarkable
Side Items
Fragile Narcissist Experiences Reality Check: When you’re the richest man in the world, you come to expect certain things, like water fountains that dispense Hawaiian Punch or monkeys trained to feed you grapes (I’m speculating). What you probably don’t expect is being showered with boos as you join Dave Chappelle onstage to attempt to tell witty jokes. I’d say this is the origin story of a comic book villain, but Mr. Muskrat and his ilk have been villainous for decades, generations even
Aquatic Problems in Germany: A giant aquarium holding more than a quarter million gallons of water and 1,500 tropical fish collapsed in Berlin this week, drenching the streets of the German capital and probably terrifying some poor unsuspecting fraulein. No foul play is suspected at this time, but if I were a criminal mastermind, which I am decidedly NOT, this would be the perfect diversion to mask a flawless heist of valuable gems or exotic animal furs
DC Makes Public Buses Free: The nation’s capital will institute a permanent free fare plan that will be by far the biggest in the country. Other major cities like Boston and Los Angeles are considering broader zero-fare policies to improve equity and help regain ridership that was lost with the rise of remote and hybrid work. Los Angeles instituted free fares in 2020 before recently resuming charging riders, because their city council is dominated by wealthy exploitative idiots
Trial of Tory Lamez: This kind of legal battle doesn’t usually interest me, but the linked article features a byline from a friend, the tenacious Gabby Bullgarelli, who has been on site covering the trial. For those unfamiliar with Daystar Peterson, the miniature rapper also known as Tory Lanez, this trial hinges on an incident in 2020 when he ‘allegedly’ (that man is guilty) shot at Megan Thee Stallion’s feet. For those unfamiliar with Megan Thee Stallion, I’m honestly not sure how I can help you
World Cup Recap/Final Preview
In a surprise to absolutely no one, pretty much every prediction of mine during the course of this tournament has been incorrect. The Moroccan dream came to an end yesterday, as they fell to Croatia 2-1 in the third-place match. It should come as no surprise considering I chose to support my North African brothers, but they can still walk away with heads held high as the best performing African team in the tournament’s history.
The World Cup Final kicks off later today, with Messi and Argentina taking on Mbappe and France. As much as I’d love to see Messi lift the one trophy he hasn’t won, I’ll be using my cursed luck to support the French and all their colonizing prowess. Hopefully my bad luck continues.
Happy Hanukkah! The Jewish celebration begins at sundown today, so do yourself a favor and have a latke or two and enjoy playing with the original beyblades (dreidels)