Yesterday, the Chicago White Sox played the Cleveland Guardians (formerly and frequently identified by a racist caricature, lest we forget who the bad guys are here). The White Sox were winning, a rarity this season, as they currently sit 14 games below the lead for the AL Central (whatever that means). None of this baseball talk is really important. What is important is a little scuffle that unfolded in the bottom of the 6th inning, with Chicago up 5-1.
José Ramírez of the Guardians smacked a ball to the outfield and rounded first, with every intention of diving into second base for a double. He dove, he slid under the glove of White Sox shortstop Timmy Anderson, and he was declared safe by the umpire. For a brief moment, normalcy reigned, the pitcher waited for the ball, the umpire waited for whatever came next. But Timmy Anderson apparently took a liiiittle too long allowing Ramírez to stand up, and maybe exchanged some words with the Dominican.
In a flash, the two were pointing fingers and (probably) hurling insults in one another’s faces, and at this exact moment the umpire hilariously retreated into the distance, allowing these two grown individuals the opportunity to shoot a fair one right in the middle of a nationally-televised professional baseball game, what a treat! Timmy Anderson dramatically flung his glove to the ground and put up his dukes, nodding cooly as if he’d make quick work of his opponent. He threw a punch, a second quick behind it. Ramírez bobbed and weaved, managing to avoid the worst of the damage. He blindly threw a desperation haymaker, with a second attempt right behind it. It was his second punch that did the trick.
He connected directly with Tim Anderson’s jaw, absolutely sleeping the shortstop and bringing the fight to a rapid conclusion. Anderson was left dazed and confused and was picked up off the ground by his fast-arriving teammates. They restrained Anderson, who was obviously in no state to be fighting anymore. He was eventually escorted off the field by concerned teammates, which is pretty much the worst possible outcome for someone who so enthusiastically entered the tussle.
Sadly I saw parts of myself in Tim Anderson’s downfall. The idea of confidently cruising into battle before getting pummeled by the realities of life is not a foreign one. Not to me. I see your pain Timothy, and I stand with you, doing my best not to laugh.
Side Items
Toxic Triathlon: At least 57 people were sick and experienced diarrhea after competing in a sea swimming event at the World Triathlon Championship Series in Sunderland, UK. About 2,000 people participated in the events last weekend, which included a swim off Sunderland’s Roker beach. The UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA) said it would be testing samples from those who were ill to establish the cause of the illness and any common pathogens. An Environment Agency sampling at Roker beach three days before the event, showed 3,900 E Coli colonies per 100ml, more than 39 times higher than typical readings the previous month. Probably just a coincidence that E coli is a bacterial infection that causes stomach pain and bloody diarrhea. Bloody indeed innit
USWNT Lose: The American quest to win an unprecedented third consecutive Women’s World Cup title ended early this morning on penalty kicks, as three Americans (Megan Rapinoe, Sophia Smith and Kelly O’Hara) missed their spot kicks before Lina Hurtig of Sweden converted to clinch the shootout 5-4. It’ll go down as the earliest exit in tournament history for the four-time champion US team, and it’s likely the final World Cup for legends of the game like Megan Rapinoe and Alex Morgan
Ain’t Nobody Watching That: Elon Musk claims his potential cage fight with Mark Zuckerberg will be streamed on his social media site X, more commonly known as Twitter. The two tech billionaires seemingly agreed to a “fight” in late June. Zuckerberg has been trained in mixed martial arts, and earlier this year he posted about competing in his first jiu jitsu tournament. “Zuck v Musk fight will be live-streamed on X. All proceeds will go to charity for veterans.” was the most recent dubious claim put out by the Muskrat. The emerald colonizer prince said he was training for the fight by lifting weights, but we all recall his natural alabaster porpoise-like physique