Because we exist in a strange blend of reality and parody where nothing makes sense anymore, former president and sentient garbage receptacle Donald Trump has released a charity single, recorded with a choir of men currently held in a Washington DC prison for their roles in the January 6 insurrection/hillbilly block party. This is not a drill.
The track, called “Justice for All” is legitimately available on streaming platforms and features Donald Josephine Trump and the J6 Prison Choir. On everything I love, I couldn’t make up stories like this if I was sponsored by MSNBC. It’s the latest/most egregious in a long line of actions by Trump and others on the far right to whole-heartedly embrace the January 6th attack on the Capitol as a legitimate political cause instead of what it actually was (a bunch of middle-aged cosplayers living out their rage fantasies). Trump is trying to portray those who carried out the attack as patriotic protesters being persecuted by the state instead of what they actually are (naive bumpkins and racist idiots).
Forbes was first to report the song’s production, saying that a video would eventually debut on a podcast hosted by Steve Bannon, the far-right activist and occasional fraudster who was Trump’s campaign chair and chief white house strategist. I honestly struggle to think of a less-desired song/music video combo, but I’m drawing a blank. The closest equivalent from the left side of the political aisle would be something like a Pete Buttigieg/Nancy Pelosi duet titled, “Can I Say The N-Word Now?”.
Over an ambient backing, “Justice For All” features Trump reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, probably not from memory, interspersed with a male voice choir singing The Star-Spangled Banner. The fire track lasts about two and a half minutes and ends like most nights in a frat house, with a resounding chant of “U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!” (I’m guessing here). Forbes said it was “produced by a major recording artist who was not identified”, but industry insiders reported seeing a mysterious cloaked individual who only referred to himself as Wanye Kest scurrying around the scene.
Side Items
Biden Has Lesion Removed: Ordinarily this probably wouldn’t qualify as news, a geriatric had a small skin lesion taken off by doctors last month. But because it’s everybody’s least favorite grand-uncle, we all get to listen to endless speculation from politicos about what this means for the future of our democracy. Pathetic
Fire in Indonesia: A fuel fire in Jakarta killed at least 17 people, and injured many more after a pipe at Pertamina’s Plumpang fuel storage depot ignited. The blaze quickly spread to nearby houses and sent residents in the densely populated area into a panic. Top Indonesian officials have called for a probe into the origins of the fire and a deeper audit of the country’s energy facilities after several recent destructive blazes
What (Not) To Watch: Netflix is going for something new with its latest standup special, airing Chris Rock’s performance live at 10 pm tonight. This will be Rock’s first taped special since the “slap heard round the world” which will celebrate its first anniversary next week. Think about how much has happened since this relatively inconsequential slap, and how much devastating global news has been ignored in the wake of its continued coverage. Talk about beating a dead horse (Hold on, I’m being told that technically a zebra is not a horse)