Saturday, June 25: Bathrobes At It Again
Five clowns and a lady named Amy decided abortions are anti-American
Yesterday, six of our favorite Star Wars cosplayers decided that a crusty old piece of parchment doesn’t protect a woman’s right to an abortion, naturally this wasn’t welcome news to many Americans. Many took to the streets to protest this unpopular and dangerous decision, but the writing was on the wall for months that this decision was not only possible, but likely. Nancy Pelosi’s fossilized remains took this opportunity to sing the national anthem (probably) while questioning how Israel would be affected by all this.
“The Constitution (crusty piece of parchment) makes no reference to abortion, and no such right is implicitly protected by any constitutional provision.” - Sam Alito, writing for the majority (pretty sure the Constitution makes no reference to sticking your hand in the Golden Corral chocolate fountain, but I digress)
In total, more than 20 states are on the cusp of outlawing abortion immediately (they’re mostly the states that consider Cracker Barrel fine dining, but that’s not entirely relevant). Of course this ruling won’t actually end abortions, women will do what they feel is necessary, it just so happens their decisions relating to their own bodies may be “illegal”, whatever that’s worth. What exactly is it worth when the highest law of your land is unpopular, indefensible bullshit?
At the end of the day, the people hurt most will always be poor women of color. Leave it to the NYT to give the people just what they need in this moment, more opinions from men.
Side Items
Ukraine is still bad, getting worse every day
Congress put together gun legislation that will almost definitely do nothing to fix the problem, but whatever, it’s basically a win, they’re celebrating anyway
Housing Crisis Game! (Join us as we discover what $625,000 will get you in Oregon, Georgia, and Louisiana, thereby illustrating the crisis in affordable housing that we’re all going through)