The world’s wealthiest man purchased a social media site and somehow immediately transformed into the most incompetent substitute teacher you’ve ever encountered. This titan of industry can’t get Twitter users to stop impersonating and humiliating him for a second, and all the while he attempts to carry on, bravely doing what no one asked him to do, ‘championing free speech’.
Instead of wasting $8 a month trying to prove to the world that you are really you, why not invest that money instead in an informative daily newsletter, providing you limitless access to the daily absurdity taking place in global affairs and pop culture? I’m mostly joking, keep your money. Or share it with someone who needs it more than you do, but not the richest man in the world. For sure not that.
If ever you needed a sign that unfettered capitalism is a curse, consider the fact that Twitter operated for more than a decade, growing and learning and adapting as its users did. It certainly wasn’t a perfect app, but it grew into an accessible, useful tool that could be utilized in many ways depending on the intention of the user. Now it’s a cash-grab-money-suck business enterprise. Sad.
Side Items
40 Chickens, 40 Days: Alexander Tominsky woke up 40 days ago a regular 31 year old man. Today he can proudly proclaim that he has done what many other white men have done over the years, as he satisfied a Philadelphia audience by devouring 40 rotisserie chickens in 40 days. The real kicker here is that Tominsky would use these birds as his only meal of the day, so he wound up losing about 16 pounds over the 40 days! A true renaissance man
World Cup Prep: In preparation for the upcoming World Cup, I’ll be breaking down the participating teams and going into some detail on what has to go right for these teams to lift the elusive trophy. We’ll start with the teams least likely to progress and have any lasting impact in the tournament, so naturally we begin with the hosts Qatar & the neighboring villainous Saudi Arabia as the first two teams to discuss.
Qatar: As hosts of the global tournament, Qatar has been criticized for its human rights record for almost a decade, since the first announcement of this World Cup. The tiny nation truly has no business playing with the big dogs, and their group features Ecuador, the reigning African champions Senegal, and the mighty Netherlands. Personally, I don’t think it’s any exaggeration to say that Qatar likely won’t score a single goal before their unceremoniously quick exit. Proof that just because you can bribe your way into hosting the World Cup, doesn’t mean it’s a good idea
Saudi Arabia: Another squad with no real business in this tournament, Saudi Arabia was grouped in with star-studded Argentina (serious title contenders), Mexico (featuring a few world-class players), and Poland (featuring one of the top strikers in the world right now in Robert Lewandowski). Meanwhile, Saudi Arabia will rely on the talents of fourteen guys named Ahmad, Mohammad and Safwan. The only conceivable way this team makes it through group play is if they break out their secret weapon (bone saws)