More than seven months into a genocide and the headlines the media is choosing to prioritize include a story about a fragile zionist and her growing cheese addiction. At first I thought this was a joke, but apparently this zionist scumbag got hooked on cheese due to the stress of running a zionist student organization at NYU, then goes to a $6k/week rehab for her cheese addiction. Not to make light of addiction, but focusing on this moronic woman is certainly a choice. For those interested, she recently had a "brief relapse" during the ongoing anti-genocide protests on university campuses, so be sure to keep her in your thoughts, but only if those thoughts are negative.
Joey Biden the slippery rat spoke to graduates of Morehouse College yesterday, claiming that he heard their voices of protest and that the scenes from the genocide in Gaza break his heart, too. I’m not exactly sure what we’re meant to do with this information, but I suppose some people might find it reassuring to know that the president doesn’t enjoy funding and defending a genocide, it’s simply part of the job. As Biden continues to desperately try and reshape his genocidal image before this fall’s election, his attempts to play both sides and appear sympathetic only serve to make him look more pathetic.
The American government claimed last week that the idiotic and misguided pet project of constructing and anchoring a pier in Gaza atop the corpses of Palestinians is nearing completion. The UN will allegedly be coordinating the distribution of aid, which could just as easily be airdropped or, dare I say it, simply driven into Gaza through the routes currently blocked by the apartheid state. A spokesperson for the pentagon said that there won’t be any delays in the distribution of aid, which is a pretty clear sign that this project will never get off the ground.
As western governments have poured untold resources into constructing this useless pier, Doctors Without Borders reports that Al-Awda Hospital, one of the last semi-functioning hospitals in Gaza, has completely run out of drinking water. The UN has repeatedly emphasized how fuel imports into Gaza have all but stopped and how this will make it extremely difficult to deliver any aid to the Palestinian people, with millions of people in desperate need of food and other humanitarian aid. We’re learning in real time that starving ~2.3 million people is excusable, but we’re meant to sympathize with the cheese-addicted zionist.
Side Items
Iranian Helicopter Accident: A helicopter crash in northwestern Iran this weekend resulted in the death of Iranian president Ebrahim Raisi, along with the nation’s foreign minister and several others. The mountainous region was blanketed in a thick layer of fog, making search and rescue efforts even more difficult. Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, who serves as Iran’s religious and de facto leader quickly named an unknown vice president as interim caretaker and insisted that the government was still in complete control, but because it’s Iran we can’t rule out that this was some secret attack to further destabilize the region
Biden’s Weed Gamble: In a desperate attempt to secure the stoner vote, that bozo Biden decided to reclassify marijuana from a Schedule I drug to a Schedule III drug last week. In a video, the useless bag of osteoporotic bones said this decision was in line with his mission of "reversing long-standing inequities" regarding the criminalization of marijuana. What better summary of this failed presidency than Biden deciding to change the legality of marijuana from illegal to…still illegal
Another Season Ends: The 2023/2024 Premier League season came to a close yesterday, with all 20 teams playing their final matches. Manchester City predictably won their fourth straight league title (yawn), while Arsenal came up short in their ongoing quest for a trophy or positive recognition of any kind. Liverpool finished the season a somewhat distant third and bid an emotional farewell to their charismatic coach Jurgen Klopp after nine years under his guidance. As a Liverpool supporter I can admit it was a somewhat disappointing season, some of you may recall I began the season making brief reaction videos to each match, a trend that quickly ended once the genocide kicked into high gear. In a perfect world I could be writing about soccer and making reaction videos to meaningless matches, but alas, that perfect world eludes us and there are more important things to discuss