Monday, February 20: Imaginary Holidays
What has a president ever done except make this world worse?
In the history of the United States, there have been 45 different presidents ruling over this nation, and every last one of them has been a crook, a liar, a murderer, or some combination of the three. For reasons that remain unexplained, today marks the imaginary holiday where we’re meant to celebrate these egomaniacs.
I’m of the opinion that the office itself is corrupting, offering too much power to whoever occupies it. Some presidents leave office and continue to enrich themselves, whether through legitimate business or through the connections they made as “leader of the free world”. Others leave office and embrace the opportunity to disappear from public view, surfacing only occasionally to drop their tired music playlists (ahem, Obama).
But even presidents who remain beloved after their time in office are still guilty of contributing to our collective societal downfall. For example, this week 98 year old former President Jimmy Carter decided he wants to spend his remaining time at home with his family and receive hospice care rather than seek additional medical intervention. Carter is by all estimates an honorable human, a God-fearing man who has spent most of his time since leaving office building houses for those less fortunate.
But even Jimmy’s time in office was marked by corruption and lies. He contributed to escalating the Cold War when he ended détente and imposed a grain embargo against the Soviets. He also promoted the Carter Doctrine, which infamously laid claim to the Persian Gulf, saying,
“Let our position be absolutely clear: An attempt by any outside force to gain control of the Persian Gulf region will be regarded as an assault on the vital interests of the United States of America, and such an assault will be repelled by any means necessary, including military force.”
Guys like Jimmy Carter, Barry O, Uncle Joe, and Donny Trump may seem like they’ve got nothing in common, but in reality they’re two sides of the same coin. Today we celebrate that coin and hope that one day we can do away with it entirely.
Side Items
Israeli Legal Overhaul: For the second week in a row, thousands of demonstrators gathered outside the Israeli parliament, or Knesset, to rally against the prime minister’s plan to upend the country’s system of ‘checks and balances’. Netanyahu and his alliance of apartheid appreciators are looking to concentrate their power by removing courts and government legal advisers from the legislation process. It’s almost a humorous sight, seeing thousands of people rallying, waving the Israeli flag and holding signs that read, “saving democracy!” all while completely ignoring the Palestinian population they’re actively oppressing
Pound of Flesh for Freedom: A Massachusetts bill sponsored by Democrats proposes allowing incarcerated people to donate their organs in exchange for shortened sentences. HD 3822 is more than a piece of strange legislation, it hints at the ways lawmakers think about people and bodies and the calculus that determines which bodies deserve respect and care and which do not
NBA All Star Weekend Wrap-Up: Karl Malone judged the dunk contest this weekend and somehow evaded any scrutiny for raping and impregnating a 12 year old girl before he was a big professional basketball star. Also Mac McClung won the dunk contest ad Dame Lillard took home the 3-point trophy