To commemorate one year at war with Russia, the Ukrainian leader Volodymyr Zelenskyy has chosen to honor the occasion in the only appropriate way, by hopping on a country track with Brad Paisley (I really wish I could make this stuff up).
Today marks the one-year anniversary of the war’s start, and Mr. Paisley is releasing a new song called “Same Here” featuring the Ukrainian President speaking proudly about his country and people. The song is apparently a three-part narrative that reflects on universal similarities, despite distance and language. It’s the latest in a long series of attempts to make us sympathize with the Ukrainian cause.
While the song doesn’t mention Ukraine specifically, it ends with Paisley and Zelenskyy in conversation, recorded during a video call. Zelenskyy talks about Ukrainians’ desire for freedom, saying, “There is no distance between our two countries in such values.” You’d think a guy leading a country under constant attack would have more important things to do than chat on the phone with American country singers, but you would apparently be wrong.
“You can put us in different places with different flags and different languages, but we have so many similarities. He (Zelenskyy) can give as many speeches as he can give, but it’s a lot easier to hear something with a melody maybe.”
-Renowned diplomat and occasional country music star Brad Paisley
We’ve officially reached the point in the simulation where foreign policy and country music become synonymous. Meanwhile, this is really just a cover story for the fact that the US is sending Ukraine another $2 billion in security assistance. Clever diversion tactics from Mr. Paisley, better luck next time.
Side Items
Cringe Tweet Alert: Shoutout to NATO for a strong candidate for cringiest tweet of the year, wherein the North Atlantic Treaty Organization compares itself to a number of underdog/indigenous fighters. “We are Harry Potter and William Wallace, the Na’vi and Han Solo. We’re escaping from Shawshank and blowing up the Death Star. We are fighting with the Harkonnens and challenging Thanos.” Whatever nostalgic 45 year old is running their account might need psychiatric help
Colorado Police Back At It: Surprise! Law enforcement is murdering innocent people in Colorado once again, this time outside a middle school. Almost exactly a year ago, on February 22, 2022, Pueblo County officers were dispatched to Liberty Point International Middle School where a man would eventually be shot three times and die on a sidewalk as children walked past. His alleged crime: accidentally getting into the wrong car
Justice for Survivors: Two massive scumbags were handed verdicts yesterday, as Harvey Weinstein and Robert Kelly were finally punished for their decades of abuse. Weinstein was given 16 years behind bars, to go along with the 23 years he’s currently serving in New York. Meanwhile, Robert was sentenced to 20 years in prison for child pornography and enticement of minors. This sentence will run simultaneously with the existing 30 year sentence he’s serving. In all likelihood, both of these men will die in prison, a punishment they’ve unquestionably earned